Cultural Deprivations

Before cultural deprivation sends me into
a monastery of pouty otherness
I feel I must
gird myself for the journey.

Fill the IPod Nano with Shakira,
Fergie and Michael Blunt downloads.
Burn “Ghostrider” to DVD.
Whisper serenity prayers for
Britney, and for Lindsey.
Clad myself in taupe capris,
Lance Armstrong wristband
Tell everyone Obama is hot in
shorts but is America ready?

Am I not girded?
Am I not ready for embrace?
The mullet is secretly
preserved in a shoebox.
The gold navel chain in the attic.


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